Masks
by HateMePretty
Summary: "Every night/before she falls asleep/In those early hours /She is thinking too hard." Three poems following Hermione as she suffers after the war. (Not epilogue compliant.)(Disclaimer: I don't own anything.)(T because of mental breakdowns and suicide)
1. Chapter 1

Every night

before she falls asleep

In those early hours

She is thinking too hard

About

Those bodies

She saw

Bloody

Stacked

Surrounding her

About the fallen towers

The screams

The silences

Oh

The silences are the worst

She always breaks them

Whether she screams

Or she cries

Whispers

Finds

Finds that silences hang

Between each word

Each breath

Each thought

She hides herself

Is someone she's not

She doesn't love anymore

For love

Is nothing

But-

Love is just

Hate with a mask on.


	2. Chapter 2

She curls into a ball

She wraps her arms

Around her legs

Brought up to her chest

For a minute

Her eyes are shut

Squeezed,

Tight as can be

But then

She opens

Her eyes and mouth

Screams

Shrill

Loud

Louder

Louderlouderlouder

Sadly

It's never loud enough

To shove out the silences

To scare away the ghosts

The ghosts-

Past

Present

Future

It's like

Charles Dickens'

A Christmas Carol

But twisted

Because

She's done nothing wrong

She worked hard in school

She had friends

She fancied who they told her to

She fought for the good

She didn't collapse

But once the pressure's gone

How can you not fall?

There was nothing to hold her

To keep her upright

Safe

Her wonderful haven

Was dead

Gone

With the rest of them

So she hid

A safe place

In the country

He'd never been there

She'd never been there

None of them had ever been there

And so it was safe

Free

Unhaunted

Right?

Wrong.

They followed her

Traced her footsteps

Laughed at her inner turmoil

They talked

Shouted, even

To make her hear

Because they thought she was deaf

She was deaf to reality

But not to them

So she shut them out

Afraid of what they would bring.


	3. Chapter 3

She was happy

She dated

She married

She had a baby

But that wasn't

What fate wanted

No,

She couldn't be happy

Three years clean,

How long she lasted

One dating,

One married,

One with the baby

But that night,

He was on a trip

Baby was with her aunt

And she was so alone

It was silent

For the first time in

Over 1,095 days

So she curled up

Closed her eyes

Opened them

Opened her mouth

Screamed

She screamed for ages

Until they came

They came and they

Gently

Reminded her

How to numb it all

How to bleed

And how to hide the scars

By covering them anew

He came home early

Laughing with baby and auntie

They stopped dead

When they heard her screams

They ran

Sprinted

Only to find her

Curled in a ball

Covered in blood

Cowering before the ghosts

And their knives

They took her away

To the empty place

Full of silences

Devoid of life

Said she couldn't see Baby

'Til she was alright

And that was too much to handle

On a cold December night

So when they left her

In the empty room

Full of silences

Accompanied by sheets and ghosts

The ghost reminded her

That she could join them

And that night she did

She tore the sheets

With the help of ghosts

And they taught her how to

Tie a knot

Hand it from the ceiling

Fit into it

So she followed their instructions

Closed her eyes and found herself beside them

She saw an

Empty

Silent body

Hanging in front of her

Deathly pale

Bushy hair

Yellow teeth

Too fat

Too skinny

Coated in scars

They led her out of the

Empty place

Full of silences

To a big

Lopsided

House

She once called home

Baby and He were there

Surrounded by family

Shocked and crying

She missed baby in her arms

Tried to get her back

Couldn't

Her screams and cries matched baby's

Auntie comforted baby-

Husband never liked her or baby anyway

She was held in the arms

Of the dead lover

And she calmed

He took away silences

Taught her to watch baby

Like he had watched her

They watched baby

Auntie

And his twin

When twin joined

They all laughed an reminisced

He died young,

28-

Heart attack

His little boy

Girl

And wife

Cried

So they watched

Little Boy

Little Girl

Baby

And Auntie-

Wife could never stand him anyway

Happy

Without the masks

Of fake lives

To hold them back

Death visited them

So did Marauders and company

But it was Twins and Her

Until Husband came

After remarrying

Two little kids with new wife

Died at old age

He stayed away

Never liked them anyway

Auntie came soon after

Loved being with them

Another while passed

The kids came too

And she loved her little girl

Who came to love her real mother

Not the fake replacement

It was all happy,

In the end

Together

Full place

Loud

Loud enough

To push away

The silences

The living

And the memories.


End file.
